Learn how to accept and adapt to your
present reality to alleviate
stress.
Since childhood, Labor Day
has always marked the end of summer fun and the
back-to-school and work routine that comes with
it.
For adults, the back-to-school routine
can be a welcomed change (kids getting out of the
house!), but it is often filled with a
let's-get-back-to-work serious note. And, of
course, a certain amount of stress.
I recently read a brilliant definition of
stress in Ekhart Tolle's much-acclaimed book "The Power
of Now". He writes that stress occurs when
we are too focused on either the past or the future
state, with little regard for the present
moment. In other words, when we are stressed
out it is usually when we want to be somewhere else
other than the present. WOW!
Think about it
for a moment. You are stressed out in
traffic. Why? Because you don't want to be
stuck behind some truck, you would rather be in your
living room relaxing. We get stressed out at work
because we know we have 30 more things to do by next
week. Or, we're stressed because we should have spoken
up in that important meeting last
week.
Tolle advocates, and I agree,
that if we focus on the moment in front of us and
suspend our focus on the past or the future,
then we would not be stressed. I
have tried this and it works. When I know that I
have many things to accomplish, I try to focus my
attention on the one thing that I am doing now, as
opposed to concentrating on the future things that also
need to get done. The present moment is the time we have
now for getting things done. Focus your attention here
and not on future or
past tasks.
This is an
important leadership skill to develop.
It reminds me of a story I heard
regarding prisoners of war. Apparently, after
the Vietnam War, surviving prisoners of war
were psychologically analyzed. What
researchers learned was that the freed prisoners all
shared something in common - their attitudes toward
their current reality weren't pessimistic
or optimistic. No, the survivors were realists
when dealing with their current reality of being a
prisoner of war and the pain, agony and unknown
associated with it.
You see,
pessimists didn't survive because they focused on the
things they should have done and they gave up early,
hence their fate. Optimists didn't survive because they
believed that things would get better tomorrow and when
they didn't, they began to lose hope. Realists took
each day as it came and dealt with their present
reality. They minimized stress and focused
on the present task at hand.
With so much
unknown (i.e. organizational changes in strategy or
corporate downsizing), being a part of the
corporate ranks can make one feel like a prisoner. It is
no surprise that leaders are expected to adapt to
change and help others manage change for
themselves.
Change that is
out of our control and involuntary is
stressful. We seem to want to hang on to the past, or
project a different future. Learning how
to accept the present moment helps us alleviate
stress.
Athletes demonstrate this
well. They don't know what their opponent's next
move will be, but they are focused on being able to
respond effectively to that moment with little regard
for the past or the future. They are alert
and able to adapt to change
quickly.
This
is realism in action. This is a successful leadership
skill.
Laura
Lopez is a performance strategist, leadership specialist
and branding expert with more than 20 years of corporate
leadership experience. Most recently, Laura Lopez was a
vice president with The Coca-Cola Company. Laura's book,
The Connected and Committed Leader, is available via her
Web site at www.laura-lopez.com, at your local bookstore
or on www.Amazon.com. As the owner of her own business,
Laura helps companies and business associations achieve
more sustainable business results through the power of
leveraging diverse talent with effective leadership and
branding. She is available for speeches, workshops and
customized programs. Laura can be contacted via her Web
site at:
http://www.laura-lopez.com.
